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List of ceremonies
1. The engagement: Finalizing the marriage through a memorandum
2. Pandakal: Erecting the marriage 'pandaal'
3. Nalangu: Beautifying the bride
4. The bridegroom's reception: Receiving the groom
5. Preparations on the morning of the wedding
6. Arsan Kal: Erecting the bamboo stick in front of the marriage platform
7. Padapuja & Kasi Yatra: The groom washes
his parents' feet and proceeds on a mock pilgrimage
8. Mahalaxmi puja: Prayers offered to the Goddess of wealth
9. Manai Pongal: Rice is cooked in a clay pot
10. Kanganam: Tying of the sacred yellow thread
11. Kanikadanam: Giving away the bride
12. Mangalyam: Tying of the sacred 'mangalyam' on the bride
13. Exchange of garlands: The couple exchanges garlands three times
14. Omam: The couple pays homage to the sacred fire
15. Sesha: Blessing the couple
16. Paying homage to the Arasanikkal: The couple goes around the 'arasanikkal' three times
17. Reception: Post wedding celebrations
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The Engagement: Finalizing the marriage through a memorandum
The engagement ceremony is formalized through a memorandum, which confirms
the alliance. The groom's family presents the bride-to-be with a sari,
some jewellery and 21 platters of fruits and dried fruits. The respective
fathers of the bride and the groom sign this contract. During this ceremony,
the auspicious date of the wedding is also finalized.
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Pandakal: Erecting the marriage 'pandaal'
The wedding rituals commence with a Ganesha puja. A bamboo with an odd
number of eyes is smeared with 'haldi' (turmeric) and 'kumkum' (vermilion)
by nine 'sumangalis' (married ladies). This bamboo pillar is erected for the four legged 'pandaal'.
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Nalangu: Beautifying the bride
The bride is seated on a wooden plank on the dais. Underneath this plank
a banana leaf filled with a handful of uncooked rice is spread. Three
stools are placed in front of the bride; 'kumkum', sandalwood paste and
rose water are placed on one stool, betel leaves, betel nut and flowers
on the second, and a plate with 'arathi' (a mixture of lime and turmeric
mixed in water which turns red) on the third.
The married women (sumangalis) apply sandalwood paste on the bride's hands,
put 'kumkum' on her forehead, sprinkle rose water on her and also perform
an 'arathi', thus completing the beautification ceremony.
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The bridegroom's reception: Receiving the groom
The bride's uncle or brother carries gifts for the groom to his home.
The groom is then invited to marry the bride. 'Nalangu' is performed for
the groom. The bridegroom is brought to the wedding venue in a decorated
car. On arrival he is received by ladies from the bride's family and 'arathi'
is performed on him. The bride is brought separately and the 'Nalangu' is performed for her as well.
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Preparations on the morning of the wedding
The four legged 'pandaal' is now erected and decorated with banana tree stalks on all four corners, tender coconuts, mango leaves and flowers.
Before sunrise on the wedding day, the bride and groom come to the marriage
'pandaal' separately. The elders of the family put gingely oil and green
gram powder on the foreheads of the bride and the groom and smear turmeric
on their hands. The clothes worn by the bride and groom at this time are
given off to the 'dhobi' (washer man) after the completion of the ceremony.
The bride and groom then have an oil bath to signify the beginning of a new life.
A Ganesh puja marks the beginning of the wedding rituals.
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Wedding Mantap |
Arsan Kal:
Erecting the bamboo stick in front of the marriage platform
'Arsan' means ruler, and 'kal' means standard. In the olden days the king
was invited to the wedding, thus setting an honourable standard for the
ceremonies. To represent this, another bamboo stick is erected by five 'sumangalis' and |
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all the honours are performed, like bathing the
bamboo with milk, sandalwood paste and 'kumkum' and tying a silk scarf around it before performing the 'arathi'. |
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Padapuja and Kasi Yatra: The groom washes his parents' feet and proceeds on a mock pilgrimage
The bridegroom washes the feet of his parents and takes their blessings.
This is known as the 'padapuja'. A Ganesha 'puja' is performed and the
'upanayanam' (sacred white thread) is tied around the bridegroom's chest.
The bridegroom then pretends to leave on a pilgrimage to become an ascetic.
He is stopped by the bride's brother, who washes his feet, gives him
an umbrella, a hand fan ('visiri') and slippers and requests him to come and marry his sister.
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Mahalaxmi Puja: Prayers offered to the Goddess of wealth
The bride performs 'puja' to the Goddess Laxmi, and then performs 'padapuja'
for her parents to receive their blessings. The groom's family brings
the wedding clothes for the bride and the groom along with the garlands.
The bride and groom get dressed after this ceremony and proceed to the 'pandaal'.
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Manai Pongal: Rice is cooked in a clay pot
The groom's parents cook rice in a clay pot while the bride and
groom get dressed. On their return, the eldest 'sumangali' of the household
greets them with garlands. The couple offers prayers to all the deities
before entering the 'pandaal'. The sacred fire or 'omam' is then lit to act as a witness to the marriage.
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Kanganam: Tying of the sacred yellow thread
A sacred yellow thread is tied around the wrists of the bride and the groom by the officiating 'pujari'.
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Kanikadanam: Giving away the bride
The bride takes a coconut in her palms and her parents place her hands
in those of the groom, symbolically handing her over to her husband.
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Mangalyam: Tying of the sacred 'mangalyam' on the bride
The 'mangalyam' is made out of gold in the shape of a tiger tooth.
Legend has it that in the ancient days the bridegroom killed a tiger,
pulled the tooth out and tied it round the neck of his bride, proving
his valour. Strings of thread (strung 108 times) are dipped in 'haldi'
(turmeric) and the gold pendant is strung on them. The groom has to tie
the 'mangalyam' thread with three knots. 'Haldi' (turmeric) is placed
on the knot and the groom presses his ring on this as a seal. This is
done with the 'nadeswaram' playing in the background, and the couple is
blessed with the showering of rice dipped in turmeric, and flowers by all present at the ceremony.
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Exchange of garlands: The couple exchanges garlands three times
The bride and groom exchange garlands three times. The mothers-in-law
and sisters-in-law or aunts tie a piece of gold on the bride's forehead
to demonstrate her authority and relationship and repeat the same ritual for the groom. |
Wedding in progress |
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Omam: The couple pays homage to the sacred fire
The groom and his bride circle the sacred fire three times. The bride's
brother gives them puffed rice, which they together offer into the 'omam'.
After this ritual, the 'pujari' shows them the 'Arundhati' star so that
they can be faithful to each other, since "Arundhati" the
mythological goddess was known for her chastity.
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Sesha: Blessing the couple
A white bed sheet is opened and spread in front of the bride
and the groom in the 'pandaal' and uncooked rice is placed on it. Elderly
men of the family take handfuls of rice and drop them in front of the couple as a blessing.
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Paying homage to the Arasanikkal: The couple goes around the 'arasanikkal' three times
The couple goes around the 'pandaal' three times followed by unmarried
girls from the bride's family. When they return to the 'pandaal' the 'kanganam'
is removed and this ritual is repeated with unmarried girls from the groom's
family. In the olden days this enabled parents with unmarried eligible
sons to look for suitable brides for them. The bride then changes into
a white sari, and the groom into a white 'veshti' (dhoti), and they sprinkle
'haldi' water on each other - this is primarily to 'break the ice!
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Reception: Post wedding celebrations
On the evening of the wedding day, a reception is held where all friends
and relatives of both families are invited to congratulate and bless
the newly weds. The celebrations are replete with a grand dinner.
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